Noah’s Builds a Boat: Riding Out Life’s Storm

Long ago—before ships sailed the seas—lubbers and giants roamed about, doin’ as they pleased. These scallywags called bad things good and good things bad. They lied, cheated, and plundered like pirates. But Skipper, who sees all, were not laughin’. “I’m sore sorry I made man,” Skipper said. “Time to swab the decks clean and start over.” Just as He was about to scuttle the sorry lot, He spied Noah, a feller who still listened to Him. “Noah!” Skipper called. “The world’s got more rot than a shipwreck!” “What’s a ship?” Noah asked. “It’s a vessel fer floatin’ on when ye don’t want to drown.” “Drown? Our brook dries up every summer!” “Not this year,” Skipper replied. “I’m sending a flood. Start choppin’ trees....

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Old Pete’s Wild Ride: The Night The Son Invented Surfing

Arr, gather ‘round, ye scallywags, and hear the tale of Old Pete, the only sailor ever to defy the mighty pull of the deep without so much as a driftwood plank under his feet! Aye, this be a tale o’ brave hearts, blustery waves, and one mind-bogglin’ walk that’d make even the great Kelly Slater give a salty salute! Now, Old Pete was one o’ Skipper’s Son’s best mates, always eager to jump in first, feet a-paddlin’ even when he hadn’t a clue what he was doin’. So one night, after a long day o’ teachin’ and healin’, Skipper’s Son sent His crew off in a boat, sayin’, “I’ll catch up with ye later.” Well, hours passed, and wouldn’t ya know it, the wind started howlin’, the waves were...

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How Skipper Tamed the World’s Wild Waters

Ahoy, mates! Brace the main and prepare fer the greatest sea tale ever told. This be the story of how the Skipper tamed the world’s wild waters. 

In the beginning, there be nothing but water. Everywhere and all around, water covered everything, with no Land-Ho for a pirate to make port. ‘Cept back then there were no pirate mates, only the Skipper and the water.

And not the kinda water ye wantin’ ter splash around in, but wild and deep like a never-ending tidal wave. 

Now, Skipper, seein’ how He created all things, knew the potential of this water, and the Skipper pulled off the greatest feat in history!

Skipper’s Spirit roiled the surface of the deep. And there was lightnin’ and booms! Stars and flashes and with a mighty thunder out popped the seas, oceans, rivers, and dry land! 

Land, mates! 

The thing we don’t sink into!

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Captain Stinky Foot

Once upon a time, beside the Caribbean Sea, there lived a young pirate named Stinky Foot.

Stinky Foot’s feet smelled bad. Flowers wilted when he walked by.

Stinky Foot’s feet smelled so bad that girls held their noses when he entered a room.

Stinky Foot’s feet smelled so bad that tough sailors cried, and fishermen buried their heads in bait buckets.

Stinky Foot’s feet smelled so bad that even his own mother would sometimes make him wear shoes to bed and sleep with the window open. Even in the winter!

One day Stinky Foot invited Toothless Tina to share his squid sandwich. She told him to go away and not come back until he smelled better.

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