Captain Stinky Foot

Once upon a time, beside the Caribbean Sea, there lived a young pirate named Stinky Foot.

Stinky Foot’s feet smelled bad. Flowers wilted when he walked by.

 

Stinky Foot’s feet smelled so bad that girls held their noses when he entered a room.

Stinky Foot’s feet smelled so bad that tough sailors cried, and fishermen buried their heads in bait buckets.

Stinky Foot’s feet smelled so bad that even his own mother would sometimes make him wear shoes to bed and sleep with the window open. Even in the winter!

One day Stinky Foot invited Toothless Tina to share his squid sandwich. She told him to go away and not come back until he smelled better.

That night Stinky Foot snuck out his window. At the docks he found a leaky boat. Turning his back to the village, he set his face towards the rising moon and sailed away.

That night there was a terrible storm. Waves broke over his boat. He cried, but the strong wind drowned out his sobbing. Afraid, Stinky Foot curled up in the anchor locker and fell asleep.

In the morning he found the ocean flat and the sun hot. The boat’s sails hung limp. “They’re probably holding a parade to celebrate I’m not around,” he told the sea gull roosting on the deck.

He missed his family, the tough sailors, and even the mean girls. He especially missed Tina and her toothless grin. Even a mean friend was better than no friend, he thought.

Stinky Foot pushed on the sail, hoping to make the small boat move. But without wind he only became tired. Sad and scared, Stinky Foot hid in the anchor locker and fell asleep.

The next morning hard thumping shook him awake. He sat up… and banged his head on the locker’s ceiling.

Though the sea remained flat, fish swam around his tiny boat. He wished he had a net so he could catch breakfast. Breakfast… I bet Mom is making flapjacks for Dad.

Another fish bumped into his boat. Then another. Soon fish crowded together and formed a quivering, scaly path across the water.

He stepped out of the boat and placed his big toe on the back of a fish. Then his whole foot. When he found he could stand on the fish without sinking, he began walking towards the sun.

Then he ran.

And ran and ran. For miles and miles he raced across the water. In fact, he ran so fast and far that he lost sight of his tiny boat. Each time he grew worried that his silver, scaly bridge would end and leave him in the middle of the sea, more fish appeared.

As the sun began to fall into the water at the end of the third day, he saw land. With a final burst of speed he sprinted toward the shore and collapsed face down onto the sand, exhausted.

Fishermen gathered around him. A tough sailor offered him a sip of water. Stinky Foot’s mother arrived and dropped to her knees, sobbing as she hugged him.

Even Toothless Tina seemed glad to see Stinky Foot. She gave him half a squid sandwich and a quick kiss on the cheek.

Thankful to home safe, he looked up at the circle of friends and said, “I promise I will always wash my feet, even before taking a bath. And I promise to wear my shoes even to bed.”

Toothless Tina bent down and said, “Hey, your feet don’t stink!”

Others took deep breaths and scratched their heads.

A tough sailor, holding his nose, dropped to one knee, sniffed, and said. “Fresh as a rose be his toes.”

From up the beach a fishermen ran toward the crowd, his catch dangling from the end of his pole. Flinging a flopping fish onto the sand, he told the others to take a whiff.

The crowd recoiled.

Pointing at Stinky Foot, the fisherman said, “It smell’s like… you!”

“Son, what have you done ?” his mother asked.

Stinky Foot explained how he ran home on the backs of fish. “I must have smeared my smelly, sweaty feet on their scales,” he explained.

The fisherman with the pole stormed off, muttering under his breath about he could never eat something that smelled like sweaty feet. A tough sailor called Stinky Foot a bad name and stomped away.

Even Toothless Tina frowned… but only for a moment.

“I’m glad the fish stink and you don’t.” She grinned a toothless grin and, taking his hand, asked, “Want to help me chase crabs?”

He did.

They did.

And to this day Stinky Foot and Toothless Tina chase crabs on the beach. Sometimes when the sun begins to sink out of sight they rub their feet together at the water’s edge and inhale the smell of the sea.

No one in the village seems to notice anymore that the sea smells like Stinky Foot’s feet.